Complex Trauma in High School English Class

While all around me the federal government is being dismembered, it seems apt to bring up the novel we’re reading.

In English 12 we’re halfway through Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s hard not to draw parallels to what is happening in the U.S.A. today. I feel like Offred seeing the bodies from the “salvaging” hanging on the wall for the crimes they committed — men killed for gender treachery, doctors for performing abortions.

U.S. AID was butchered yesterday. The Department of Education last week. NIH before that. Canada is now an enemy. Undocumented immigrants are all criminalized. In Gilead, they know that nobody can be trusted. They know how dangerous scientists and intellectuals can be. “Eyes” are everywhere.

My EML students worry that family members will be deported while they’re at school, parents afraid to go to the supermarket or church. They bring these fears into the classroom, and either act out or remain unusually quiet. Some students just stop coming to school. Their anxiety seeps into our shared space. Whispered conversations, a heartfelt journal entry.

A teacher friend from another school told me that a student asked if she was legal. She is from South America and speaks with a slight accent. She replied, “I am now, but I wasn’t when I first arrived in this country.” The student responded, “Then I would have reported you to ICE.”

It could be worse. I could be a 53-year-old NOAA scientist with kids about to go to college — decades into public service, too young to retire, years of exceptional performance reviews — fired through a social media posting from DOGE.

I could be an undocumented LGBTQ+ immigrant about to graduate.

Seniors had to write an essay about the value and relevance of The Handmaid’s Tale for today’s teens. One student wrote that reading this text shows the consequences of not standing up against injustices in the world today. Another student wrote, “our government is meant to protect us, but if they ever turn against us, marginalized communities will be in the most danger.”

The fascist flexing taking place right now in the White House is meant to provoke fear and panic. Our president is inflicting continuous trauma on this country, with marginalized populations suffering the most. And they are sitting in my English 12 class.

Teachers have little training in how to deal with anxiety, emotional dysregulation, or persistent difficulties in sustaining relationships (symptoms of complex stress disorder), but we see them becoming normalized.

Ordinary, said Aunt Lydia, is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary.

I have hope that my students will stand up against injustices, that they will fight for the future they want to live in. I will do everything in my power to give them the tools they need to think critically about our world. One of the best tools at my disposal is excellent speculative fiction, like The Handmaid’s Tale.

Because I live in Montgomery County, Maryland, I can (still) teach a novel that has been banned in Florida, Oregon, and Texas. This is exactly what we need to be reading right now. This is exactly what we need to be discussing. This is exactly how we can overcome the psychological stress of living through the next four years.

Soothing Summer Sunsets

With less than three weeks left of summer, the teacher anxiety begins to seep in. How many items have I crossed off my To-Do list? Can I still work in a trip to the beach? Have I read all the Quarter 1 core books yet? Completed my Compliance Training? Have I scheduled all my doctor and dentist appointments? Do I have an exercise/ socializing/ housekeeping plan in place that will work with my new fall schedule?

Wait! It’s not time to think about all those things yet! I’m watching the Olympics. I’m finishing novels that have nothing to do with school. I’m waking up at 6:00 am to go rowing before the heat sets in. I’m going to my high school reunion next week. I’m swimming at the new aquatic center. I’m attending live concerts and biking with friends. I’ve driven to New York City for the weekend.

Excepting the pandemic, this is the first summer in 11 years that I haven’t completed a big international trip. It has felt so unusual, so… relaxing! I’ve had consecutive days with nothing to do but read quietly in my favorite chair. It’s the first summer that I can remember feeling moments of boredom.

On August 19th, I start pre-service week at a new high school, where I’ll be co-teaching English 9 and English 12. I am looking forward to working within a larger ELD Department, meeting my new co-teachers, commuting a shorter distance, and experiencing a more collegial work environment. 

But right now, I’m enjoying every sun rise, every sun set, and every single hour in between. There’s plenty of time to get everything done.

Getting ready to row under the full Buck moon, July 21

Dinner overlooking Central Park, NYC

Hawaiian Night at family reunion, June 2024